The LavenderEncrusted Canard of Incestuous Sex
by Lilaxx002
Summary: CARNAAAGGEEEEEE


The Lavender-Encrusted Canard of Incestuous Homosexuality as Pertaining to the Wizarding World: A Romance of the Most Dignified Degree

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><p><em>Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!<em>

The effervescence rapidly subsided into impenetrable apprehension, followed by an indication of rapidly deteriorating sanity.

_He was the chosen one. _

**Chosen.**

**Chosen.**

**Rape.**

**Murder. **

**Murken. **

**Reconnaissance.**

**Intrigue.**

**Love.**

**Erection.**

The thudding collection paraded on ever-ignorant, conformist and stiff, falling beneath the glory of Neo-Nazi Ginny Weaslitler, adorned in the tightest leather an Elder Wand could buy, puckering around her virgin nipples and leaving enough exposed to lure those unaware of her evil to her milky white breasts, then thus forcing her enemies into said breasts which would soon grow fangs within the wet crevices and massacre the assailant into submission or death, basking in the glory as dominatrix of the SS.

**CCCCCHHHHHOOOOOOSSSEEEENNNNNN  
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Oh! T'would be as to flit on a wing of the passenger pigeon, free in its extinction and the rosary-beads of comprehension upon its prideful wing!

**And I set FIIIIIIIIIIIIRE to the RAIIIIIINNNNNNN**

A flaming inferno climbed into the night sky, illuminating the town with the sound of burning flesh and smell of axe cologne set out into the sun for a good 7 months in a mixture of infant tongue and eggs mixed with mayonnaise, consuming all in its path and creating no doubt in the general public's mind that there really was no God, and if one were to exist He would be sick, twisted, and unbelievably sexually repressed.

_No one could blame you for walking away._

His eyes flickered as his pink-eyelined lashes battered off caked ash and his curly, semen-encrusted chest hair heaved in tandem with the rest of his pasty, pale British body in passionate embrace and despair with his own aroused reflection.

_Too much rejection, no love injection._

"There is a hole. You know what to do with it." His breath caught itself and skipped into oblivion, wrenching and digging his fingers firmly into the ass-phalt (emphasis on the 'phalt', not what you were expecting, huh punk?), blood becoming mixed with the copious amounts of feces from earlier endeavors starring his brother, himself, and a video camera tied to a tree with a lynched black man hanging limply with a bucked of blood and shit stained fried chicken in one hand (ironic considering his life as a staunch vegetarian and supporter of PETA) and a opossum scavenging through the muscle tendons climbing the other as now the fully engorged and ready-to-blow member of his brother, Fred Weasly's (and no i dont care if it's wrong 'cause the whole point is to focus on the startling imagery between Nazism and sexual arousal), foreskin forcefully forged (alliteration ftw) its way into the once-ear hole and caused his own flesh and blood's nipples to erect nearly as tall as Mount Everest, snow capped mountains included.

**LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE CLEAVAGE LEAVE LEAVE**

The window-pane shattered at the point of consummation, and the opaque mask shattered into a thousand pieces leaving their naked shame exposed to the rest of the leather-donning lesbianic-Nazicentric world.

"Is it Narcissism if I enjoy sado-masochistic sex with my identical twin brother?"

"Only if you don't die in the end."

Heads whipped around in horror as the vicious image of Hairy Potter, once renowned wizard-turned porn star thrust his hairy cock deep inside of Hagrid, who was dressed as Mr. Ed (get it? 'Cause Daniel Radcliff was in Equus? You don't get it, stupid uneducated motherfucke-)

And much sex was had. Much, much smutty sex. The passionate embrace soon turned futile as Fred, firmly on top, took advantage of being a zombie from the fourth dimension and tore his penis from his body and used it to suffocate George as he used his third vagina to provide lube to make the journey of the penis into George's mouth and out of his crusty, pimpled anus a bit easier despite his horrible rash.

**무지개****, ****새끼를****맛****!**

Hairy Potter, taking a clue (and a dick up the ass) from George's corpse found the scene to be almost too erotic, and thus in the process killed Hagrid via plot device. (And red herring as well.) Hairy firmly grasped (**FIRMLY GRASP IT) **Fred's fine hair and decided to menstruate into it so as to enhance the red inside of the ginger, biting his nipples as his mouth was full of his own vaginal blood and ripping them off simultaneously, and using his spiked tongue from all those years of speaking Parstletongue and forced the nipples up Fred's piss-hole and flicking his tongue repeatedly underneath his ballsack in hopes to be jizzed in the eye.

**WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE YELLOW SUBMARINE**

Hagrid, awaking from death as all logical and realistic characters do, used his morbid obesity to his advantage and profusely sweated into his rolls of fat and thus wrung out his fat unto the minors, hoping to fulfill his secret longing for fucking Harry since the moment after he fingered his hermaphrodite- infant self.

"Oh… oh God… oh yes… unf… unf…"

Fred falls into Hagrid and Hairy closer, falling deep into Hagrid's rolls of fat and heaving, feeling the surprising elasticity of Hagrid's hairy skin puckering and crinkling underneath his soggy member, feeling Hairy's hairy ass tickle his ass up and down, and the sudden cold splurge of shit roll down his legs and his body, a release of disgust and lumpy, curdled ecstasy, his nails ironically tracing a Nazi swastika into Hagrid's blubbery body, burning with heat and desire enfolding him in a blanket of sin and despair, endless fields of despair, stiffening and softening at each touch, moan, screech and tight bite, pinching with a sort of deafening glee, bumping bone to bone and letting bony boner desperately shudder against the sheer profanity of the disgust within a situation reeking of desperation, guilt, and selfish angry sex.

And then they all got AIDS and died.


End file.
